My memory from that night is really foggy.
Part of me already knew I had been in an accident by the time I was fully conscious. It's all in bits and pieces. I remember the EMTs working to get me strapped in. I remember the ambulance.
Because I was so conscious, I figured I was fine. The nurse even told my mom around 2 am that they would just be doing a rutine check up and that I would probably be released soon. It wasn't till around 5 am that they told me that I broke my neck. She said she wasn't going to lie to me, it was serious.
It's been hard for me to think straight.
I find myself searching for words.
I have a constant head ache.
My neck is super stiff.
My back hurts even worse.
I get dizzy from everything. I get dizzy every time I stand up, when I stand up for too long, and when I lay back down again.
It's impossible for me to get comfortable.
It's hard for me to stay on track.
I get lost in conversations easily.
I get nervous everyone I'm in cars now. I don't know if they're flashbacks or if I have ptsd.
I started remembering part of the crash today.
I sent this text to Adam. "Being in the car right after the accident. The roof is off. Someone to my right is telling me I was just in an accident and not to move. The paramedics are on their way. I hear Travis stir. He starts to move. They yell at him to stop moving. His side of the car is compacted in and his leg is pinned. I can tell. It's hurting him. He's not fully conscious. He's aware of the pain though. He keeps trying to move. They ask his name. "Travis" "Travis stop moving" they yell. He's not listening. I start yelling "Travis stop fucking moving" and he stops. I'm staring at trees above me. I black back out. "
It's weird getting my memory back. I wonder how I ever forgot about it. I wonder what else I'm going to remember . I'm scared to find out.
No comments:
Post a Comment